Entry: Hands Clean May 17, 2011

You tell myself to walk away from this right here, right now if I loved you. What the hell is that? You're telling me that I shouldn't stay if I loved you because you'll hurt me. And I can easily delude myself into thinking you're just concerned about me, about my heart but somehow I feel as though you only say this so that after all this shit is done I would have no reason, no right to blame you. Because you can always tell me you warned me. Because you can say I insisted and it would all be my fault for letting myself get hurt.

But then, how can you expect me to just walk away? Now, of all times, when I have given up so much already. Maybe I should, so I can keep myself for giving up even more. It's all going to go to waste anyway. I know as much.

So why? Why am I staying?


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